


Being Watched

by noahliza



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: (completely ignores the secret end movie though), Eye Trauma, Psychological issues, Sorry Sora, angst fest, i guess?, its that thing where you pretend everythings fine until you cant any more, not sure if i should put this in the soriku tag or not cause its barely even, post kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 01:36:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahliza/pseuds/noahliza
Summary: Sora's back! Everything should be great. Everything should be great.





	Being Watched

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to @sorabuttpockets / @_chababe on twitter ! A huge chunk of my inspiration for this was from one of their drawings!

It was like being woken from a dead sleep. He had a vague awareness that time had passed, but no clue as to how much, or what was going on. Before he even opened his eyes, he was surrounded by excited voices. What were they saying…? He tried to focus, but was halted by a much closer voice.

 

“Welcome back, Sora.”

 

_Kairi._

 

Sora’s eyes flew open with shock as his memories became clear. Right by the bed he was on were his two best friends in the worlds.

 

“Riku, Kairi!” Sora quickly sat up to wrap his arms around them, but suddenly felt dizzy.

 

“Woah, easy there.” Riku supported Sora as he tried to re-orient himself. “You just came back, give yourself some time to get used to it.”

 

“Right…” Sora pouted, but laid back down. Riku smiled softly down at him.

 

“May we run some tests, then?” Ienzo’s voice came from a bit farther away, and Sora remembered there had been more than 2 voices when he first woke up.

 

“Uh, sure.” Sora nodded.

 

“Perfect. We just want to make sure your body and heart are functioning properly.” Ienzo explained.

 

“We’re gonna go wait outside, okay, Sora?” Kairi waved as she and Riku started walking towards the doors.

 

“See you soon.” Riku said.

 

Ienzo started explaining what he and the others were doing as they started the tests. At first they were simple, things you’d get done at a doctor’s office. Physical checkup, blood work, everything.

 

Sora spaced out once they got to the more technical stuff. Ienzo had stopped explaining, but there was still a lot of technobabble in the lab. They did scans of him -- _or something_ \-- Sora wasn’t sure. It felt like forever, sitting and waiting.

 

“Alright, we’re finished. Everything looks good!” Ienzo finished typing something on his computer. “You’ll want to get lots of rest for the next few days, though.”

 

“I can do that.” Sora affirmed. He felt exhausted, despite only having been awake for a few hours.

 

Sora slowly got up, and made his way out of the lab. Riku and Kairi were waiting for him just outside.

 

“So, we have a big question for you.” Kairi started. “Aqua, Terra, and Ventus have their own place now, they’ve offered to give us all some more formal training. Do you want to go there?”

 

“Other options are Yen Sid’s tower or Destiny Islands.” Riku clarified.

 

Sora was quiet for a moment, thinking. For some reason, someplace new felt like the only good option. “Formal training sounds great!” He grinned, pushing back his exhaustion.

 

“Alright, let’s go then.” Riku stuck close to Sora’s side, making sure he was walking alright. They all climbed into a gummi ship and took off, going to “Someplace New”.

 

\--

 

Despite Sora’s attempts at normalcy, the first few days went by in a foggy haze of exhaustion. An ‘adjustment period’ was what someone had told him. He napped throughout the day and night, but luckily there was always someone available to make sure he’d eaten, or kept up at hygiene. He’d force himself to perk up, have a snippet of a conversation with whoever was checking in on him, and then do whatever thing they reminded him to do.

 

As the days went by, the fog in Sora’s mind started to recede. He was finally trusted to take care of himself again. He was glad that everyone cared about him so much, but it had started to feel overbearing; like he was a little kid again.

 

Sora sighed tiredly as he turned the shower faucet off. He’d zoned out during his shower, and so the entire bathroom had filled with a dense steam. He stepped out, wrapped a towel around his waist, and went to the sink to brush his teeth. He finished, and glanced up towards the steam-covered mirror. He saw a flash of bright yellow through the steam -- a heartless? He whirled around and summoned his keyblade.

 

Nothing was there.

 

Sora cocked his head to the side in confusion, and dismissed his keyblade. As it disappeared, he turned back around to the mirror. There was the yellow again. He turned his head behind him. Still no heartless. He wiped the steam off of the mirror with his hand and gasped. He recoiled away, then stepped closer, inspecting his reflection.

 

His left eye had turned yellow.

 

He prodded around his eye, trying to figure out what was going on. He poked it, testing if maybe it wasn’t actually _his_ eye. It hurt. It was his eye. Sora dropped his arms to his sides and stared at his reflection, stared at that yellow eye.

 

There was a knock at the door. “Sora?” It was Riku.  
  
“One sec!” Sora gathered his bearings and opened the door. Riku smirked as he watched the steam roll out of the bathroom.

 

“Did you fall asleep in there or something--? Hey.” Riku bent down a bit towards Sora’s face. “Did something happen to your eye?”

 

Sora’s stomach churned, afraid. “What do you mean..?”

 

“It’s all bloodshot. Did something happen?”

 

“Oh!” Sora nodded. “I, uh, got shampoo in it.”

 

“Good job.” Riku teased. “Are you done in there, or should I come back later?”

 

“Oh, yeah, I’m done.” Sora headed off towards his bedroom.

 

Riku watched Sora walk away for a moment, before heading into the bathroom.

 

\--

 

Sora had finally, officially, joined everyone. He was able to stay up through the whole day, was taking care of himself, was talking and joking with everyone like he used to. The mood in “Someplace New” was lighter, and Sora was determined to keep it that way. He pushed down his fears about his eye, after all, no one had mentioned it.

 

Kairi and Riku relaxed a bit and watched Sora and Ventus spar each other, Ventus taking it easy on Sora until he regained his strength. Again.

 

“Hey, Riku?” Kairi asked quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Riku turned to look at her. She had a thoughtful, concerned look on her face.

 

“Do you feel like...Sora’s faking it?”

 

“Faking what?” Riku asked.

 

“His enthusiasm, I guess?” Kairi thought for a moment. “I just feel like he’s putting on an act. I’m worried about him.”

 

“Ah, yeah…” Riku trailed off. He’d felt like Sora’s smiles were strained lately. Not truly fake, but not truly real, either. He gazed at Sora, watching his facial expressions as he sparred.

 

“Earth to Riku?” Kairi waved her hand in front of his face.  
  
“Sorry.” Riku smiled sheepishly. “I agree with you, though.”

 

\--

 

“How’ve you been feeling?” Kairi asked. She and Sora were on dish washing duty that night.

 

“Hm? I’ve been good.” Sora smiled at Kairi.

 

“Everything’s been going okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Sora nodded. “I mean, training’s been tough, sparring is tiring!” He whined.

 

Kairi giggled and turned to the kitchen sink. “Well then, let’s get to work!”

 

She still wasn’t sure what to make of the situation.

 

\--

 

Sora lay on the ground, exhausted after a long spar with Aqua.

 

Riku approached and sat down next to him. “You’d feel better sooner if you walked around a bit before you flop over.”

 

“Riku,” Sora whined. “I’m too tired for that, I just wanna be a lump for a little bit.”

 

“Well, you’re doing a good job of it,” Riku teased.

 

“Hey!” Sora tiredly punched Riku’s arm.

 

“What? You don’t like my compliments?”

 

“No way. Not if it’s about being a lump.” Sora grinned.

 

The two were quiet for a moment.

 

“Hey, Sora?”

 

“Yeah, Riku?”

 

“Has everything been okay, lately?”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sora flinch, just a tiny bit.

 

“Yeah, of course! Why?” Sora looked directly at Riku.

 

“Just making sure…” Riku glanced at Sora. “You went through a lot.”

 

“I mean, we all did, didn’t we?” Sora deflected. He was still staring at Riku, almost as if he were silently asking for Riku to look back.

 

“Yeah, I guess we all did.” Riku amended. He held eye contact with Sora for a moment, until Sora suddenly got up.

 

“I’m gonna go take a shower, now!” Sora announced. “I feel all gross and sweaty.” He grimaced.

 

“Alright, see ya.” Riku nodded.

 

Once he was out of eyesight, Sora ran to the bathroom. He slammed the door, locked it behind him, and went straight to the mirror.

 

There it was.

 

That yellow eye.

 

Sora opened his eyes wide and started prodding around it. It had become sort of a ritual, any time he was alone around a mirror he would examine it. He didn’t know what, if anything, he was looking for; but he was looking.

 

And the yellow eye would look back.

 

Sora eventually tore himself away from his reflection to actually bathe, so that he wasn’t lying to Riku. The bathroom slowly filled with steam, and Sora took a deep breath, in an attempt to steady himself.

 

It didn’t work.

 

Sora slid down the wet shower wall and curled in on himself. His thoughts raced, they’d been racing practically nonstop since he first saw the yellow eye.

 

His yellow eye.

 

No. No, no, no. It couldn’t be his. There’s no way.

 

\--

 

Sora had started having nightmares every night. Riku worked tirelessly, trying to rid Sora’s dreams of this negativity. There was a lot. Too much. Riku realized this was something that was going to have to be solved outside of Sora’s dreams.

 

Riku and Kairi both tried to get Sora to open up, but he still brushed them off. The harder they prodded, the further Sora would go from them. Riku had tried the day before, and Sora had gotten mad enough to snap at him.

 

Neither of them were around for Sora’s training that day. They walked together down one of the halls, and their quiet atmosphere was shattered by sudden, angry yells. Riku stayed where he was, but Kairi went to investigate.

 

She only caught the very tail end of it, Sora left the room and stormed away. Kairi turned around and followed him, picking up her pace to keep close.

 

Sora whipped around and stopped both of them in their tracks. There were tears in his eyes, still threatening to spill over.

 

“Sora, what happened…?”

 

“I’m so sick of it!” Sora wiped at his eyes. “Everyone keeps asking me what’s wrong, I hate it…!”

 

“...Is something wrong?” Kairi asked, as gently as possible.

 

“You don’t see it?” Sora gazed at her.

 

“No..? I’m not sure what you mean.”

 

“You don’t see that...I’ve been totally fine?” Sora started. “I mean, I’m upset right now, but, I just wish everyone would stop asking me if I’m okay.”

 

Kairi smiled sadly at Sora. “I’ll talk to everyone. I’m sorry we upset you so much.”

 

“Thanks, Kairi.” Sora smiled at her and walked away.

 

Kairi wasn’t convinced.

 

\--

 

That night, Sora’s nightmare was all eyes. Riku wasn’t quite sure what to make of a nightmare like this, but he told himself he could think about it later; he had work to do. The eyes were really endless. An endless sky of eyes, an endless ground of eyes. All in different colors. But none were blue.

 

As soon as Riku noticed that, he was suddenly shoved back to wakefulness. Had Sora woken up already…?

 

Riku quickly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Sora hadn’t closed the door all the way, so Riku pushed it open silently.

 

Sora was almost up against the mirror, looking at his eyes. It was as if he were looking for some sort of tiny detail in them. He was shaking, covered in sweat.

 

“Sora…?”

 

Sora jumped away from the mirror, startled. “U-um, Hi, Riku.” He attempted a wobbly smile.

 

“I know you’re sick of everyone asking you this, but...what’s wrong?”

 

“Oh.” Sora opened his mouth. Closed it. He was quiet for a long moment. “I...I think I’m getting sick.”

 

Riku wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He didn’t think Sora was telling the whole truth, but he did look the part.

 

“Do you want any medicine, or anything?”

 

“No...I’m just gonna go back to bed.” Sora slipped past Riku and headed down the hallway.

 

Riku follows suit and goes back to bed as well.

 

Sora doesn’t have any more dreams that night, and Riku hopes that’s good.

 

\--

 

No one sees Sora at all the next day. Riku tells them that Sora’s sick, his outburst the day before was because of that. He’s tired. It’s fine.

 

“You don’t believe that, do you.” Kairi whispered to Riku.

 

“No…”

 

“You can go find him, I’ll tell everyone you’re helping him out.”

 

Riku paused for a moment. “Okay. Thanks, Kairi.”

 

Kairi smiled and nodded. She watched as Riku left the training area, then headed towards everyone else.

 

\--

 

Sora wasn’t in his room. Riku turned and hurried towards the bathroom. The door was closed, but Riku opened it anyway.

 

Sora was up close to the mirror again. There were dark marks under his eyes, meaning he hadn’t gone back to sleep last night. He was still shaking, sweating, hyperventilating. He was examining his eyes again.

 

Or rather, just his left eye.

 

Sora realized, late, that Riku had came in, and jumped in surprise.

 

“R-Riku! Hah, um, what’s up?” Sora’s voice wobbled.

 

“Sora...what’s going on…?”

 

“Nothing!” Sora’s voice was too loud. “It’s okay, I’m. I’m just sick. Ya know?” He was close to hysterics.

 

“Sora…” Riku started, “Please don’t lie to me.”

 

“Don’t you see it!?” There was that stare again. Silently asking, pleading for Riku to look into his eyes.

 

“No...I don’t know what I’m supposed to be seeing.” Riku admitted.

 

Sora crumbled.

 

He sunk down to the floor and curled into himself, hands clutching his hair in distress.

 

“Sora…!?” Riku knelt down.

 

“It’s not mine, it’s not mine!” Sora babbled without taking any breaths, “It’s watching me, it’s watching, it’s watching, it’s watching it’swatchingit’swatching,”

 

Sora was talking so fast that Riku couldn’t understand him anymore.

 

“Sora! Please, what’s going on!?” Riku begged for any of this to start making sense.

 

Sora swayed a bit, and Riku realized he was going to pass out.

 

“Sora, take a deep breath, come on, please…”

 

Sora fainted.

 

Riku allowed himself a moment to take in the situation before he carried Sora to his room.

 

\--

 

Sora has a nightmare of eyes again. They’re all yellow this time. They reminded Riku of heartless’ eyes. Before he could do anything, he’s forced into waking.

 

He ran to Sora’s room.

 

Riku slammed the door open to find Sora in bed, eyes wide in panic. He looks frozen, stricken with fear.

 

“...Sora?” Riku tries.

 

Sora’s breath hitched, and he casts a barrier around himself.

 

“Sora!” Riku pounds his fist on the barrier. “What are you doing!?”

 

Riku’s eyes opened wide as Sora summoned the χ-blade.

 

“Sora!?”

 

Sora glanced at Riku, then positioned the χ-blade as best as he could, aimed towards his left eye.

 

All he had to do was move.

 

Sora tried to gather his resolve. He shook, terrified.

 

He couldn’t do it.

 

He had to do it.

 

“Sora! Please don’t do this!” Riku shouted.

 

A few tears leaked down Sora’s face. The broken concentration dissipated the barrier, and Riku lunged towards Sora.

 

Sora panicked, and started to plunge the  χ-blade into his eye. It broke the surface, then Riku yanked his arm back. Thrown off by the pain and sudden movement, Sora let go of the χ-blade, and it vanished.

 

“Sora!?” Riku gently, carefully held Sora’s shoulders.

 

Sora was vaguely aware of something warm running down his cheek.

 

“Sora, can you hear me…?” Riku sounded desperate, so Sora forced himself to slightly nod in reply.

 

“Do you have any potions or anything in here…!? Oh, fuck…” Riku’s voice got slowly farther away, as Sora sank down to the floor.

 

Sora wailed.

 

It was exactly how Sora cried when they were really little, when they didn’t have any frame of reference for sadness. The sound cut Riku to his heart, and he stood frozen as Sora wailed. Tears and blood streamed down his cheeks.

 

Eventually the wailing became quiet sobs, and Riku came out of his shock. He looked down, and saw weird shadows over Sora.

 

The shadows moved, covering Sora, and Riku realized what was going on. He knelt down by Sora, careful to not get into his space too much.

 

“Sora…?”

 

Sora was now completely covered in black. It wasn’t anything Riku knew. He knew anti form, and he knew rage form; but he didn’t know this. Inky black streamed and dripped all over him.

 

“Sora?” Riku tried again.

 

Sora slowly looked up at him. Even like this, Sora’s eye bled.

 

Riku slowly leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Sora. Sora struggled to get away, but Riku held on tightly.

 

“It’s okay...it really is…” Riku murmured, “I love you, we all love you. Whatever’s happening, you don’t have to go through it alone. Please let us help you.”

 

“Oh my god, what happened!?” Kairi gasped.

 

Riku hadn’t even noticed anyone coming down the hallway. They must have heard Sora.

 

“Don’t freak out.” Riku said, meant for both Kairi and Sora. He ran his fingers through Sora’s hair comfortingly, not minding the inky feeling of it.

 

“What happened?” It was Aqua this time.

 

“A lot.” Riku said simply. “Can you cast cure or whatever on him?”

 

“Yeah.” Aqua nodded. She cautiously approached the two. “Is this…?”

 

“I’ve never seen this form before.” Riku admitted.

 

“Hm, interesting.” Aqua knelt down and looked at Sora for a moment. She cast cure on Sora, and asked if there was anything else she could do.

 

Riku shook his head. “I think it’ll be okay now. We’re probably gonna stay here for a while, though.”

 

Aqua nodded. “I’m not sure how much cure will help with that kind of injury, but it definitely stopped the bleeding.” She backed out of the room slowly. Two more pairs of footsteps followed hers, while another came closer to Riku and Sora.

 

“Hey there, Sora,” Kairi murmured softly. She bent down and gently stroked his hair. “We’re all here for you, please don’t feel like you need to hide anything.”

 

Sora lowered his head to avoid looking at Riku and Kairi.

 

“I’m gonna head out, too, okay?” She gave Riku’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

 

“Okay.” Riku nodded.

 

Kairi smiled and gave Sora’s hair one last pet before she walked out of the room.

 

Riku held Sora for an unknown amount of time, waiting for him to return to his normal form. It felt like an eternity.

  


Finally, the inky black dripped off of Sora, revealing his normal self.

 

“Sora..?”

 

Sora looked up at Riku tiredly. The skin around his eyes were puffy and red. He blinked a few times. His left eye had a scar right through the middle.

 

“That must be what Aqua meant…” Riku murmured to himself.

 

“Hm?” Sora held his hand in front of his left eye. He moved it closer and further a few times. Riku watched quietly, confused. Sora closed his right eye.

 

“Oh..!” Sora inhaled sharply.

 

“What’s wrong..?”

 

“I...I can’t see out of this eye…” Sora’s voice wobbled a bit as he pointed at his left eye. Riku was worried he was going to start crying again. He kept silent, unsure how to respond.

 

“I…” Sora’s voice cracked. A couple tears fell, and Riku gently wiped them away with his thumbs.

 

“It’ll be okay, I promise.” Riku spoke softly, but his tone was firm.

 

“I just...didn’t want to make anyone worry…”

 

“We worry because we love you.”

 

Sora glanced away for a moment. “Yeah…”

 

“Is there anything you need right now?”

 

Sora thought for a moment. “A nap.”

 

Riku smiled gently at Sora and agreed. The two curled up together in Sora’s bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

 

\--

 

They woke much later after a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

“Hey, Riku?” Sora’s voice was quiet.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I think I should go back.”

 

Riku looked over at Sora, nervous; unsure what he meant.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah. To the lab. Have everyone do their tests and stuff again. Maybe...maybe I should talk to Master Yen Sid, too…”

 

“Are you trying to figure out what was going on?” Riku asked.

 

“Yeah...I, um, obviously can’t just ignore it any more.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Will you come with me?” Sora asked. “I want to ask Kairi, too.”

 

“Of course I’ll come with.” Riku ruffled Sora’s hair, worsening his bedhead.

 

“Hey..!” Sora protested.

 

“I’m sure Kairi will want to come with, too.”

 

“Yeah…” Sora smiled gently, and for the first time in a while, Riku could tell it was genuine.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in one sitting, hopefully I'll be able to edit it a little soon?
> 
> If anyone's interested ya'll can find me at https://twitter.com/noa_rat , I mostly just rt KH fanart currently & babble.
> 
> It's been nice writing a fic again after so long, so if anyone that sees this is interested, feel free to shoot me a DM with a prompt & I'll see what I can do?
> 
> Lastly, I panicked trying to come up with the title for this, here's some my friend thought up for me: "Dyi in 8 easy steps" "Joe pishe voice: u lookin at me" "My name's sora and welcome 2 jackass" "Everyone: yikes.mp4"


End file.
